Problem Solving Guideline for Couples

*Courtesy of my friends*

1.Identify who owns the problem.
2. If only one party owns the problem, others can give polite and respectful opinions, but the owner of the issue has the final say on how to deal with the problem.
3. If more than one party owns the problem,
3.1. Both parties must come to an agreement before picking a solution for the problem.
3.2. Before discussing the problem, ask if the other party is ready to talk about it. If not, schedule an appointment with each other to do so. Avoid discussing the issue when either one is not ready (e.g. driving, in bad mood, tired, busy).
3.3. During discussion, both parties should avoid negative emotion fueled arguments. If such occasion cannot be avoided, either party can leave the place where discussion is held to give each other a time-out.
4. During discussion, avoid:
4.1. Negative discussion in front of kids and other family members
4.2. Voice raising
4.3. History digging
4.4. Relating to parents or relatives

- Merlinda & Wallace